Still Hungry!

I just finished the time suck that is The Hunger Games Trilogy, and am now wondering what to read for the rest of my life.

The books were a perfect Christmas gift from my SIL, but right now, I sort of hate her.

Hate might be too strong of a word. I'm really just so sad that it's over and now am at a total loss as to what to read next.

Any suggestions?

It's Wednesday, so you know I'm linking up with iPPP!

Perfect Enough

I sneak into the house just as the sun begins to rise. I'm hoping that the garage door doesn't wake anyone because a few minutes to myself would be nice.

My feet are swollen and my back is sore after twelve hours of abuse. Leaving my shoes in the garage, I head upstairs to wash away the previous night.

I stand in the spray recalling the litany of faces, names and room numbers, trying to determine if there was anything I missed.

Anything more I could have done.

Anything that I should have said.

Anything I need to know better for next time.

This mental recap is a post shift ritual. Methodically calling up past events and actions helps me wind down and actually keeps me from tossing and turning in bed. Some nights this exercise works better than others. It's not surprising that those are usually the nights when I feel I've done my best.

More often than not, though, I wonder if I did enough, know enough, if I'll ever be enough.

I also wonder if it's even possible in my line of work to really ever be enough. The learning curve is steep, the rules change often and mistakes can be fatal.

Regardless of how the recap plays out, I will still fall asleep feeling better. Being willing to review my actions and their outcomes objectively, looking for ways to overcome my flaws, as well as realizing what I've done well, gives me a sense of pride.

I may sometimes be imperfect.

I may often be flawed.

But if I do my best,

                          If I'm willing to work harder,

                                                                   move faster,

                                                                                       learn quicker,



I can be enough.





Also linking up with this week's lovelinks, since I enjoyed it
so much last week!

Two Years In

My first post here was January 6, 2010.

I started my blog for the sole purpose of putting things down. I wanted to start writing, to express my private thoughts and feelings. I wanted to use my blog as a way to remember and grow. I never considered having anybody, other than close friends and family, read these words, and I rarely even considered that while writing earlier posts.

I created a place for me. A place where I could express frustration and joy. A place where bragging, as well as bitching, about life and family was allowed. I never expected more than this.

This past year, I opened up. I quit lurking on other blogs and started connecting with the people behind the stories I'd been reading. I quit writing fluff and started writing what was real for me. I quit hiding and started to announce myself to those I felt a connection with.

I've felt intimidated.

I've felt vulnerable.

I've felt judged.

I've also felt accepted, understood and loved.

This space has become a refuge for my soul and a meeting place for my heart. I am so very grateful to all who've spent time here in the past and especially those who are still with me today. This has become a more comforting place then I ever imagined. It's become my online home and I look forward to spending another year, working on being as open and honest in my words as you've been in yours.

Thank you all so very much.

I write for me, I hit publish for you.

The Best Kind of Dozen

Elijah and I celebrated 12 years of happily ever after, December 30, 2011.

We don't usually make a big deal of our anniversary. We rarely go out to celebrate, opting instead to grill out, open a bottle of wine and snuggle in front of a movie after putting the kids to bed.

Often we don't even exchange gifts, or we simply buy ourselves something from the other person.

Like every other aspect of our marriage, we do what works for us.

This year we took a night out. Left our kids with random visiting members of our family and escaped for an evening that included a quiet dinner, adult conversation and a late movie in downtown Austin.

It was perfect.

Low-key, yet delicious dinner at Cover 3.

Good clean fun.

Brownie for him, key lime pie for me.

Late movie at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz on 6th Street, Downtown Austin

Movies are always better with beer!

Extra Special "cool" points for any one who can guess what movie we watched.

Linking up with #iPPP 

I'm also going to link up to my FIRST EVER Lovelinks 

because this post is all about love.

Promises, Promises

The first Monday Listicles topic of the year was submitted by A Mountain Momma and I love it! It's a twist on the normal New Year's Resolutions that we all feel obligated to make.

Here is my list of 10 New Year's Resolutions I will never keep:

1. Get more sleep. This is impossible. Aside from my crazy overnights at the hospital, there is no way I could nap any more than I already do and still keep the house and family somewhat organized. Also, how would I find time for my bloggy and twitter friends if i slept as much as I should.

2. Spend less money on take-out and fast food. Sometimes ordering pizza, rather than rummaging through the cupboards trying to round up a home cooked meal, is the only highlight of my day.

3. Drink less wine. And more beer?

4. Wear "real clothes" more often than pajamas. Okay, maybe I'll do this if I'm leaving the house, unless it's just to pick up dinner...otherwise I don't see the point.

5. Stop nagging. Because I want to pick up, put away, and clean everything in 2012?!

6. Keep my car clean and wash it regularly. As much as I hate the fact that my mom-mobile looks the part, having random toys/snackfoods hidden between the seats has saved me several times.

7. Control my Gymboree shopping habit. Thus ruining my children's future social life by not dressing them like they walked out of a catalog. Isn't it bad enough that their mother only wears pajamas?

8. Have the TV off more than on. With one child this was easier. Amelia, however loves "watching something" and frankly, so do I. Watching her dance along with the Wiggles is just too adorable to deny myself this year.

9. Fold and put away clean clothes as soon as they come out of the dryer. If there isn't anything on my DVR I can't possibly be expected to fold laundry, right?

10. Keep my bedroom clean and organized. Ha! I could totally do this at the expense of all the other rooms in the house. After picking up everyone else's crap you can't possibly expect me to have the time and/or energy to pick up my own!

I'm so excited to have a list of 10 Resolutions I'm not expected to keep.

I think it's the perfect way to start off 2012.