Bonnes Resolutions

Last year went really well. I feel like I came out (calm and collected) better than I went in (kicking and screaming). I'm finding peace and feel more centered every day. Elijah and I made an amazing life change and lately, I have been feeling as if it should be acknowledged. People don't just give two weeks notice, pack up their homes and move to another state. Well, maybe they do, but we don't. And if I have anything to say about it, we never will again! But all that aside, we did an amazing thing for ourselves and our family this year and I just want to take a moment to pat myself on the back. Ok - done, now on to the demands I will make on myself for this year!

As I said in my previous resolution post I fell short in the running department in 2010. It's sad because that's the one thing I do only for myself. Neglecting it may have led to some of my crazier moments, and I'm anxious to start back up. The schedule/plan is to run three days a week for the next six weeks and then run the half in this year's Austin Marathon. It's perfect because it's close, it's a new race and it's coming up pretty quickly. As long as I can build up my long run to at least nine miles, I'm good for 13.1. I'll then pick a fall race to train for and hope that the thrill from the first race helps me keep my momentum up throughout the year. That's the plan anyway.

My second resolutions is a rift on the 12 books a year resolution from 2010. I'd like to read 12 NPR recommended/reviewed books this year. I'm totally counting my current book The Battle for Christmas because I heard about it on NPR and didn't finish it or use it in last year's total. I've got a lot of ideas for future books and even know what I'll be starting when my current book is read. I'm excited about this one because I get to read books from authors I probably would have never considered had I not been trolling the NPR books site.

My final resolution of the year is to pay off a portion of my student loans. We don't have a lot of debt and we've really done well considering all the moving, selling and buying home expenses that we've had. I'd just like some extra wiggle room so I can quit driving the Trooper that I so lovingly refer to as "shitbox" and buy something a little nicer and more reliable.

So there you have it three resolutions for 2011. Here's to hoping this year is just as awesome, but in a more local way, as 2010 was!

Y.M.C.A.

We signed up for a family membership at our local Y.M.C.A. a few weeks back. Elijah wanted to join because he missed going to the gym regularly (his gym was a block away from our house), while I needed a place for inclement weather running because when we moved we had to give away my treadmill due to space issues. Anyway, we'd both been pretty anxious to find a gym to join and this way we also get a discount on Asher's camp tuition next summer. Win, win, win!

Although we've been members for a while now, today was the first time I used the gym. Usually, I run with the amazing B.O.B. jogging stroller my wonderfully thoughtful husband bought me for my birthday. However, Amelia screamed pretty much throughout all of Monday morning's run and I think the weather, while perfect for me, has turned a bit too cold for her. I mean, it was 48 degrees this morning! I couldn't in good conscience just wrap her up and head out.

I was nervous. I've never been a big gym rat, preferring instead to run outside or use my own treadmill. I took yoga and step after having Asher to help kickstart the weight loss, but I've never actually enjoyed working out at a gym. After today though, I am sold. Consider me a newly born gym rat.

Did I mention the Y has child watch? That I can have up to two hours of child free exercise time EVERY DAY? It was bliss. Even having to run inside rather than out was worth the 40 minutes of peace and quiet this wonderful place provided for me. It was marvelous. I cannot over emphasize how nice it was to actually be doing something for me, alone. I felt recharged rather than hassled. Now I am totally ready to spend the day catering to my children's every whim.

The Village People certainly knew what they were talking about!

Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)

I am a runner.

Or at least, I was a runner back before I took 18 months off to finish nursing school and birth a child; gaining about 60 pounds in the process. And while I, and my aching legs and feet, secretly appreciated the break, it has been difficult for me to be so far removed from such a personally identifying habit.

Running, while physically invigorating, involves so much more than the physical aspect itself. Running is also a salve for the soul. It comforts and soothes, the consistency of footsteps lending itself to all manner of problem solving. It has a remarkably calming effect, if only for the fact that, for me, it is a solitary endeavor. On a run is just about the only time I ever get to be alone with my thoughts. I missed running, I missed the total exhaustion that comes from a early ten-miler on Sunday morning. I missed the feeling that I had the ability to push myself beyond what my body believed I was capable of doing. I missed being in on "the secret." You know, the look you give people when they marvel at how you were able to get up that morning and pump out five miles before work. Yes, I have missed running.

If this past week has shown me anything, it's that running, clearly, hasn't missed me. In fact, it seems as if running is actually pretty pissed off that I stayed away this long. Running wants nothing to do with me. I would go so far as to say that running hates me and, if I want to get back in it's good graces, I'm going to have to pay dearly.

I finally made the commitment and started my payments last week. I'm training to run the half in the Oklahoma City Memorial marathon this coming April. Starting from the beginning is both humbling and exhausting, but I'm determined. It may take another 18 months, but here I am, trudging my way back, one mile at a time, to a place where I can once again, honestly say,

I am a runner.