I miss it.
Not only writing, which was the reason I started this online adventure in the first place, but also the comments and companionship that comes with sharing in something bigger than just me, alone, banging out my thoughts on a laptop; between the naps, swimming lessons, play dates, and temper tantrums.
Initially, it was the silence of blogging that enticed me. Taking time, alone, to put my thoughts or feelings into words without worrying about what they sounded like outside of my head. Being free to express publicly my opinions and ideas without the fear of judgement because no one was really reading my blog anyway!
As this space grew though, I felt the excitement of being alone WITH other people. I'm still able to have that time with myself; time to sort through the endless days of diapers and dinner and laundry. Time to ruminate on my seemingly epic failures as as wife and mother, as well as time to quietly pat myself on the back for what may seem to others to be the smallest of accomplishments. While simultaneously, sharing all of those days, failures and accomplishments with people who "get it." People whom I've never met or spoken to, yet whom - through our online exchanges, twitter feeds and one-way diatribes - I know.
I miss you.
I miss writing about me - my ideas, feelings, or fears - being hesitant to hit publish, only to find a comment a few hours later full of support, understanding and often validation for what I'd been afraid to express. It was wonderful to discover that, although my thoughts are unique and my hopes, dreams and fears come from my own personal experiences, there are others who share some of the same feelings. I don't have to be alone in my failings and I can share my successes with people who understand why some days the fact that I didn't pack a bag, get in the car and drive to Mexico is a success!
I miss that.
This summer has been chaotic. I got so wrapped up in the trips, errands, and activities, while at the same time trying to keep up with the household chores and work, that I got lost. I wasn't able to use my "me time" for anything besides catching my breath. I didn't write. I didn't run. I started smoking again. I read book after book, but mostly as an escape. It took all my energy just to tread water and now I'm feeling somewhat depleted.
So I'm turning again to where I have found so much comfort in the past. I'm writing in the quiet about something that's been screaming in my head for the past few months.
It's been far too long since I've written a post for Mama Kat's workshop.
Written in response to a prompt from Mama Kat's.
#4. Write a post that begins and ends with the same sentence.
#4. Write a post that begins and ends with the same sentence.
