My beautiful boy turns seven today. I warned him last year that there were no more birthdays allowed but he, and time, continue to disobey me. I suppose I will have to resign to the fact that my baby boy is, in fact, growing up.
What can I say about Asher?
I feel this great pressure to write a moving post about how much he inspires me. How he has taught me to be a better person. While that's true, I think it's far more accurate to say that, more often than not, it feels as though we are both struggling through childhood together. We spend a lot of time and energy trying to find a way to balance his independent spirit with my need for control.
Raising Asher has shed a LARGE spotlight on my failings and I'm in awe of his ability to forgive them so easily. However, along with the failings, parenthood also magnifies my strengths and I just hope that they balance each other out in the end.
I remember how afraid I was of having a son. I remember crying after the ultrasound, terrified that my firstborn and I would have no basis for connection. I couldn't have been more wrong. Asher is my partner in crime although, like me, some persuasion is needed if removal of pajamas is involved. This year of change has taught us how much we have in common as well as how much I can learn from a six-year old boy.
I've read several accounts of how childhood can seem to a parent like a series of deaths. There is a feeling of loss when the infant turns toddler turns preschooler turns school-age, etc. But, I am starting to view it more as a sequence of metamorphoses. There are things I love (and hate) about every stage, but watching Asher emerge from each different cocoon reminds me that it's a journey of firsts, not of lasts. And I am eager to introduce, and watch him explore, as many firsts as I possibly can.
So, on that note, I suppose I'll remove the ban on birthdays.
Note: I wasn't able to embed the video from this post title so you'll actually have to go to youtube in order to hear the song. Also, sorry about the 15 second ad before it plays. What's up with that?
