I usually pack for trips two weeks in advance. I make multiple drafts of "to do" lists just to ensure I don't miss anything. When we head out on a road trip, I am the one placing packed items by the door for Elijah to fit into the car. I make sure that the DVD player is charged, the snack basket is full, and Chester has a place to stay. I am responsible for making all appointments pertaining to family members (including Chester), paying all bills, keeping track of everyone's school, work and extra curricular activities, and making sure that we also have fun family time at least once a month.
I'm not complaining. I live for this shit. I thrive in my world of lists and order and planning.
However, for all my scheduling and planning, I am still imperfect. Occasionally items get missed, lost, misplaced, left behind or undone. It's not usually anything that can't be picked up at the nearest gas station or grocery store, but still, when I've forgotten something I always end up feeling a little "less than." Which just makes me even more compulsive about planning for the next event.
After two kids, I'm beginning to discover a major flaw with the controlling planner part of my personality. It leaves very little room for flexibility. After years of manipulating my world, I have become almost completely incapable of just "winging it."
Take tonight's soccer practice for example. I had the whole evening planned out.
- 4:30 put on water to boil
- 4:45 throw in pasta - cut tomatoes
- 5:00 dinner
- 5:15 dinner done, clear table get soccer stuff and kids into car
- 5:30 leave for the field
Unfortunately, Elijah called mid plan asking me to bring him a hat. He also mentioned that I could drop Asher off early because he'd be there and it might be nice for him to kick the ball around before practice started. This throws me into a complete tizzy, wherein I rush around the house trying to get things together and throw the kids into the car, leaving everything at home; cleats, shin guards, Elijah's hat, etc. I did remember the soccer balls though so score for me!
I am beginning to learn that life, especially with kids, is chaos. And that particular brand of chaos is difficult to control. I tell myself that parents forget shin guards. That I will probably forget other stuff and it will be okay. But don't think for a second that I wasn't online tonight trying to find a soccer bag to place by the door so that this never happens on my watch again!
